Monday, February 14, 2011

One Question Interview


I asked a few of my favorite bloggers one question and here are there answers.

 What’s your secret for a happy marriage?



Melissa from I Still Love You
TRUST & RESPECT one another. Chris & I trust and respect each other completely. He's my best friend & confident. There's no one in this world I trust more with my thoughts & feelings than Chris. I know he respects me, my opinions & my goals as I respect his. Communicating in a marriage can be so hard at times, but I feel like it's made worlds easier when I know that Chris will listen to what I have to say.

Amy from The Idea Room
Find something I can do everyday to make him feel special...whether it is doing his laundry or making his favorite meal or just leaving him a little note.  It doesn't have to take a lot of time.  One thing my friend did that I loved was she asked her husband what the three most important things for him when he gets home.  So I asked my husband the same question.  So now I try to make sure I have those three things done for him.  He in turn asked me the same thing.  Just a simple way to let them know you are thinking about them.




My secret to a happy marriage is to replace "me" with "we". I find that ironically enough I am the most unhappy is when I am only thinking about myself, what I want, what I need. When I stop and replace "me" with "we" I find a new and better perspective. A marriage is a two person deal so there really should be no more "me" only "we". Don't get me wrong, you shouldn't loose "yourself'" in your marriage, instead find ways that you can work together, supporting each other, cheering each other on, to reach your individual goals. Plus being part of a team is so much more fun!



I have to say that I think the #1 secret to a happy marriage is weekly date night. No matter how poor we were, we always made sure to get out together once a week. Sometimes it was just a trip to the grocery store. And sometimes it was something fantastic like a fancy dinner. Getting out once a week gave us a chance to focus on US, our relationship and get away from the distractions. It gave us a chance to keep the romance in our marriage. And I think that is so important. 




Stephanie from Stephmodo
Several years ago a family member shared with me her tip for a happy marriage--it was a book actually.
She swears by the "His Needs/Her Needs" mentioned and given the success of her own marriage, I'd say this is a great place to start. 

I personally swear by a twice monthly date night :)
One date to discuss kids and their needs--and another one just about us



Cassie from Hi Sugarplum
If I knew the guaranteed secret to a happy marriage, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops!
For us, it's about laughing at and with each other, being considerate, and remembering the other person is on your team and not out to get you (hence no reason to get defensive!)
And taking a trip every year without the kids works wonders too!



Jessica from Living the Swell Life
My big mantra is this: Love is a verb.  While it's fine and dandy to kiss and say "I love you,"  I feel like things run the smoothest when we actually put the other person first and demonstrate love in action.  For instance, today my sweet hubs swept all the floors in our house and did a load of laundry while I was out.  I hadn't asked him to do any of these things, I only expected him to watch our son.  He scored huge points for exceeding my expectations and lightening my housework load.  For us, it's essential to be attentive to the other person's needs, asking questions like "What can I do to help your day go smoother? Is there anything that would help you get out the door faster? What needs to get done around here?"  While it's not always easy to love unconditionally, and to love by serving, it's a whole lot easier when both parties take the responsibility {and joy!}  to heart.

9 comments:

  1. I loved reading everyone's unique responses. Am definitely putting Stephanie's recommended reading on my list. Thanks so much for including me and Happy heart day!

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  2. Thank you for posting these. It was fun to read these on love day.

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  3. Thanks for including me in your fun interview! Loved reading all the other answers!

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  4. I love all of those. Saw this from Amy from the Idea room's tweet. I swear by date night, His Needs, Her Needs book and the 5 Love Languages. happy Valentine's Day.

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  5. FUN....thanks for asking me to participate! It sparked a good conversation between me and the hubby!

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  6. what a fun thing to do...love this idea!

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  7. Great answers! Of course I wouldn't expect anything less from such a great group of ladies.

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  8. Thanks for letting me participate. I loved reading the answers and got so many great ideas!!!

    xoxox
    Jen

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  9. This is a great series. I love hearing what people say.

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